Why do you make the decision to relocate? How do you make that decision?
Whether it’s a cross-Atlantic journey or a cross-country journey, there are many, many factors that will go into making that choice. Let’s face it, moving from New England to California for example, can be as much of a culture shock as moving across the Atlantic. And the flight time from say Boston to Los Angeles is actually about 3 hours longer than the flight time from Boston to England! Leaving family, friends, a career, leaving your roots, can be a scary life altering decision no matter where you relocate to or how far you travel.
I’d like to share how I came to make that leap. How I talked with my family, my friends. How my partner and I weighed whether I should move to England, or should he move to the states.
I was born and bred in Central Massachusetts. Born and raised in Worcester, raised my family in Millbury for 25 years (where a lot of my extended family still live) and lived in Grafton for almost 5 years before making the trip across the pond. I have traveled, for vacation (holiday) mostly and some for business. I’ve visited Spain, Italy, France, Greece, India, Australia, England and visited many states within the U.S.
In my experience, most folks from the New England area don’t tend to move too far from home. It’s a generational state, where folks are born and raised, have their own families and raise them either in the same town, or at least in the same county. Few folks are transient. With that said, my oldest son lives in Western Massachusetts now, my middle remained in Central Mass, and my youngest just moved to New York this year, as he went to college (university) there and dreamed of living in or near NYC. So, 66% of my children remained in MA!! All my aunts, uncles and cousins still live in Central Massachusetts (and I’ve lost count of the number of cousins I have, and their children, and their children’s children….)
My career started in banking, first as a Teller (cashier), then Trainer, then Assistant Manager and onto Manager. Once I had a family of my own, I stayed home for a few years, then began working part-time in the Insurance industry. As my boys got older, I switched to full time at an insurance company—yes, in Worcester! I stayed at that company for close to 25 years. Some of my co-workers are my best friends and I’ve worked with some of the most amazing, wonderful people and had fantastic mentors throughout, many who now follow my blog! So with that said, you now realize that I am not a writer, not a journalist, not a professional influencer—I just wanted to share my experiences, my learnings, have a few laughs and make some new friends.
When I met my husband while on vacation (holiday), we continued to see each other from across the pond. He visited the states, I visited England. When we knew that we couldn’t go on that way, that we wanted a full life together, we started talking about one of us relocating.
By this time, he had met my family, I had met his family and we became one bigger family. Due to our own personal reasons, we decided that I would move to England. Then came the discussions, conversations and reassurances with my family, my friends and even my coworkers. That’s the biggest thing, having those discussions. Reassuring everyone that you’ll still be mum/dad, still be daughter/son, sister/brother, aunt/uncle, still be niece/nephew, cousin and friend.
So—you’ve done it!!!! You’ve made everyone comfortable, promised visits back and forth, managed to obtain your visa, and …. Relocated!
How do you stay close? How do you keep assuring everyone that you’re safe, healthy, happy, and get those same reassurances back, that everyone THERE is safe, healthy, and happy? There will be moments of feeling disconnected, moments when you feel someone back home NEEDS you and no-one else will do.
I can offer some tips, share some tools…but truth be told, even with the best tools, apps, video, audio connections, it’s not always easy.
WhatsApp—this is a great messaging app that you can use with all your contacts. This app allows texting, sending pics, and has audio, and video capabilities. If you are connected via Wi-Fi, all these tools are free.
FaceTime—this is an Apple app, so only Apple users can utilize this tool. FaceTime offers all the same options as above, texting, sending pics, audio, and video capabilities and holds true that if you are connected via Wi-Fi, all of these tools are free.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/facetime/id1110145091
What’s really cool about vid-chat is that we have some of these calls when I am together with my new in-laws and Brit family and friends, maybe at a dinner or a barbie and family back in the states can join in! I vid-chatted with my youngest son on New Year’s Eve, him in New York and me and my husband at a local venue in England! We celebrated the New Year together on two different continents and in two different time zones!!!! I’ve vid-chatted with my granddaughter and she chatted with my sister-in-law, they both loved meeting each other!
Amazon—if you don’t already have an Amazon account, I believe it is worth opening one. I have an Amazon account that I retain in the states (.com, Amazon in England is “.co.uk”) so I can order gifts for birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. and have them shipped directly to my family and friends in the states. I order small token “thinking of you” gifts for my kids, grandkids, mum — just to say “Hello”, to say “I’m thinking of you”, to say “I love you and I think you’re pretty special!” The grandkids especially love seeing that surprise package!
Last Christmas I did most of my shopping on Amazon, had it all delivered to my aunt’s house and when I went back for a visit, I was able to wrap everything there! All without stuffing my luggage. And easy returns if something wasn’t right!
Moonpig—a great sight for sending greeting cards across the pond. This site lets me select and personalize all my greeting cards (Birthdays, Holidays, Thinking of You, Anniversaries, Congratulations, Sympathy). You can even upload some of your favorite pics on the card! The site also allows for you to choose when you want it delivered. Awesome way to stay in touch! The delivery time is quick, dependable and very inexpensive!! (They deliver to the U.S., U.K., Australia and Ireland.). The good thing about this app is that generally the card is printed and mailed (posted) in the destination country, so it is not mailed (posted) from overseas and therefore has a quick delivery time.
Email—this is a great way to stay in touch with businesses, companies you do business with, etc. My mum is in a senior care facility. I use emails to stay in touch with her care givers, her nursing staff, doctors, social director, etc.
Apple to Apple—what I also learned (thank you to my youngest son for enlightening me) is that you can utilize Apple to Apple devices, as long as you’re on a strong Wi-Fi signal, and you can send texts and pics at no cost. Just be careful that you’re on Wi-Fi, not cell service, as there may be charges for pics, audio, vid, etc. if you are not on Wi-Fi or if you have a signal which is poor and the device utilizes data to compensate.
Cell Service Provider—be sure to check out the cell providers that will be local to you once you move. There are many different options. Make sure you have the option to add international calling or international texting. Note that there are different tiers of countries, so make sure you know which countries you want to call and that those countries are included in the tier you opt for. While I use the above apps most of the time, I also include extra options on my cell plan. It’s good to know that in the event of an emergency I can pop a text or make a phone call without having to worry about which app or service I am using and that my costs won’t skyrocket.
Visits—I generally visit the states every 4-6 moths. My husband sometimes accompanies me, but not for every visit. When I do go back for a visit, I’m lucky enough to be able to stay in my aunts’ guestroom. I do take advantage of vouchers, discounts, upgrades for my car rental and airfare. But most importantly, I completely take advantage of my time with everyone.
I plan my trip ahead of time, letting everyone know the dates I’ll be in the states. I arrange quality one-on-one time with all 3 of my boys. Plan dinners and lunches with my aunts, niece, nights out with the cousins, activities with my mum, nights out with friends!
I’ve stayed with my oldest son and we’ve had a campfire, showing my Brit husband how to make a s’more (a yank dessert (pudding), with toasted marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers) and cook hot dogs on an open fire. We’ve toured their new home and helped unpack!
I babysit at least one night for my middle son when I visit, so I get to spoil the grandkids rotten and my son and his partner get some quality time alone together.
I have stayed a few nights in New York with my youngest son. My husband and I played the tourists and my son played tour guide. We even got to watch him and his friends sing a few songs and entertain us at a piano bar!
I make plans to spend special time with all my grandkids. I’ve taken my granddaughter for a special birthday treat. We had our nails done, our hair done, had dinner together and went shopping!! Oh, and we also had a special stop for a humongous cookie for dessert. I’ve filled them with chocolates, built blanket forts with my grandsons, and played dinosaurs!
I take my mum out for drives, out to lunch, out for visits with other family, and of course to her favorite spot-the casino!
My aunts, cousins, my nieces, and nephews have had numerous lunches, dinners, cookouts (barbies) and home cooked meals with me and my husband. My cousins and I have had nights out, just like the old days!
Its’s a lot!! But it’s a blast! It’s staying connected, spending as much quality time as possible in each and every visit. I am exhausted on my return trip, but gratified, reassured and happy!
As I’ve said in prior posts, I am not an expert on travel. I am not a travel agent. I am not a journalist pr professional writer. I am not representing any particular service or goods. I am a person who has been there, done that, learned a lot (but still learning), and have a desire to share my thoughts, my experiences, a laugh or two, a tear or two, and hopefully make your relocation experience a little easier.
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